A Different Perspective

Today I had a playdate at our house. The boys were keeping themselves entertained, her baby was sleeping, mine was climbing the stairs, and we were enjoying a cup of coffee. The normal mom topics were being discussed: how are you doing, is the baby sleeping, what does your husband do. But then I asked if she planned to return to work in a couple of years. My friend began by saying, oh yes, she misses work, loves to work. I was nodding, thinking I know where this conversation is going. Already planning to add my opinion; how even though I love to work it is a long day, I am tired, boys are crazy, blah, blah, blah. But she threw me a curve ball. My friend explained that after working all day she went to pick up her 2nd son at daycare and when he saw her he broke out into a huge grin. The same thing happened when she went to school to pick up her 1st son. In my mind, I was thinking, obviously you quit your job to stay home.

Nope, she went on to tell me that by seeing her boys so happy to see her she was filled with incredible energy. She had energy to care for them, play with them, and love them. I believe (and I hope I understand this right) that working actually made her better at mothering than when she is home all day.

I thought about how I am welcomed home by my boys. Instead of counting the minutes and hours until bedtime, wondering if it is wrong to watch a movie marathon, and being on a first name basis with the pizza guy. What if I came home thinking of how good it was to be back with my boys. How much they missed me and were glad to see me. I know the baby is always happy when I come home. If he is awake he stops whatever he is doing and puts his arms up and cries to be held. Big smiles from him as soon as he is in my arms. The other two depend on the activity of the moment. Their Oh-cho is the babysitter and always brings a craft with her. Several times I have arrived home too early and been told craft time was not over and it was obvious I was not welcomed. Lately, I have been hearing "what did you bring me?" from my oldest son. I have been in the habit of stopping for coffee and getting a butterhorn for the boys. But still, once Oh-cho is gone, their are hugs, kisses, playtime (okay it isn't all rosy) but they are happy to see me.

As I go into my last day of work this year, and still unsure if I will have a job next year, I take what my friend said with me. I will come home and (try) to gain energy from my boys excited to have me back, rather than focus on how tired I am.

It does help that tomorrow I do not see any kids, and will probably spend a large part of the day reading blogs and checking facebook. Maybe even go to lunch with my co-workers. Not so bad, not so bad.