Reality Check

Kids, if nothing else, will at least always let you know exactly how you are doing. Also, how you look.    This week I was again told how the boys love my 'food baby' and don't want me to lose it. I won't be so soft and squishy without that nice layer of fat.  Except for Finn, he is waiting for the 'food baby' to be born. We may need some serious counseling later in life.

As I previously said, I love where we live.  But that does not mean that everything is blissful.  Moving is stressful, extremely stressful. Living with boxes, is not something I do well. I want everything unpacked and put away NOW.  

Yesterday, after picking the boys up from school, we stopped by the Goodwill. While, I did a terrible job of purging before moving, I am working very hard to get rid of those seldom used items I keep unpacking.  When I told the boys where we were going, Jack immediately asked if I was getting rid of his things. I tried to explain that it was mostly my stuff. But I mentioned books. To which Micah became upset that I was getting rid of his books. 

In, my most patient loving voice, I said, "No, they are my books. Like a  parenting book for moms that  I have had for 3 years but never read."

And then Jack said, "Maybe you should read it, it might be good"

For You - I heard in my head.

And yes, reading a parenting book right about now would be probably be good for me. As with most things, you know what you should do, you know what best practices tell you to do, but when your reserves are low it isn't always what you do. Basically all those words simply say one thing: more reactive parenting then proactive parenting is happening right now. And for me, that is not the parenting I like.

Did I remove the book from the goodwill bag? Um, no. I still believe it wasn't a very good book. But I did dig up all the half read parenting books I have and put them on a prominent shelf. To remind myself  to take a breath, to be the parent I want to be, to respond with patience. So far, I'm 50-50.

Oh, and to finish reading them.

Loving Life

I write that title with a little hesitancy. I do not want to imply everything is sunshine and roses; there are still fights to referee, too much yelling on my part, not enough TV watching for me, and not enough time devoted to Brandon, BUT I am still very much loving my life.

We have been in our new house 1 week. Seems crazy that last Saturday we were waking up for the first time in this unexpected home. First time in beds, I should say, we had a few campouts a couple of times to try to get some projects done before moving in.  Compared to our last move, this one was amazing.  I joke that having movers saved our marriage, but it's not really a joke. And moving into a house with a kitchen and a fully functional bathroom was a luxury.  The worst thing we have to do is paint.  And unpack.  And do that with 3 kids and 2 dogs.

This week Finn did not have school, so I felt I was living a little bit of a dream life. I drove the two older boys to school, and then came home for the next 6 hours. No errands, no pick up times, no playdates. I did not see or talk to anyone, except Finn for two days, and I loved it.  Finn, myself, and the dogs went on a bike ride/walk each day. As we walked I watched the ferry come and go, sailboats doing whatever sailboats do, and even saw an eagle perched on top of a stag.  That makes me kind of laugh.  It was a time that Finn and I had that we both enjoyed, and I think the dogs liked it too. Each day I counted my blessings for this new home and the community in which we live. And, I shamelessly admitted, that I like suburbia.  Except for the composting issue, I currently have bags of food scraps in my freezer while I wait for the correct yard waste bin to be delivered. And yes, I realize that is disgusting, but I couldn't bear to throw all that food in the garbage! So, maybe, don't come over for a while. Just until I get the food waste all sorted out.

Other then that, and no doors on our bedrooms or bathrooms, which to an intensely private person like myself, is a horror of its own, life is good.

Moving Day

The view on our daily walk

My little walking buddy

Last picture of my boys on the front steps of our old house.  Some tears were shed. Mostly by me.

Impromptu Hiatus

I did not mean to disappear from this blog, but life sometimes has a way of, well, getting in the way.  About a week before Christmas we bought a house.  Yes, a house. When telling people we said it in such a nonchalant way, kind of like, we bought a toaster.  Then the next question would come, "Were you looking?" The answer is simple: we are always looking.

For the past three years we have talked of moving to a variety of different places.  Some close, some really far.  On this day, making jam with my mom, I whispered to her, "Brandon wants to move to (insert name of small island town here)". My mom's reply, "Do it!".  We looked that summer but just couldn't make the commitment to be so far from friends, family, and work.  But we loved the smaller town, close-knit community, and wood-like setting.  Then of course whenever we went out of town, specifically to a certain small mountain town, Brandon was determined to move there. We have looked for houses on-line, we have done numerous open houses, and talked non-stop about moving.  Especially on road trips. Major decisions are made when we are trapped in a car for 12+ hours.

But through it all, the conversation would always come back to the kids. Specifically our oldest. What would school look like for him? How would he find a niche in the community? Would the school be a good fit for him?  When you have one choice for school, it can be worrisome. Then our life changed again when we, unexpectedly changed schools this summer. Going from public school to private, was a huge decision and one I never thought we would do. Especially this early in their school career.  But there I was, crying in the Principal's office, describing my sons, and finally feeling like I had a place where they could both go that would meet their needs.  And it has been good. Doesn't mean that I haven't cried more, or that Jack's teacher now says, "you promised you wouldn't cry"; but it is a good place.

With the move to a new school, my world turned upside down. Now I drive the boys to school, twice a day, I feel that Finn spends an hour each morning just in the car. It's not bad, it is actually not nearly as far as many people go, but it was wearing. So was trying to make new friends and set up playdates, only to find their friend lives a good 30 minutes away.  What I missed most from our school last year, was the ease of playdates, meeting at the park, chatting after school, etc.  So, we kept our eyes on the housing market near the boys' school. And one day there it was. A house we could see ourselves in. Not the perfect house, I am not in love with the brass accents in the bathroom, but overall it is good. And it is not a project house. Aside from paint, there is no work to be done. Not like our current house. Remember this? Yeah, we moved in with no kitchen sink, the only bathroom upstairs, and lots left on our todo list.  Plus, this house is on a 1/3 of an acre.  Brandon gets the feeling of living on 5 acres, without me living in the woods. Because, to be honest, the woods scare me.

Long story short. We bought a house. We finally finished our current house and listed it this week. Brandon and I have done nothing but paint, clean, finish our current house, since Christmas ended. It has been a whirlwind, with some good moments and some low moments.  I am both happy and sad for this new chapter in our life.  What fills me with joy is seeing how happy all 4 of my boys are whenever we stop by the new house.

Those boys are the love of my life, if they are happy, then I am happy.  And there is a really good coffee shop in town. That helps, obviously.

Being Kind to Strangers

Today I realized there might be a flaw in my plan to teach my boys to help strangers.  Most of our helping has been confined to taking toys to the goodwill and handing out hand warmers to the homeless.

Today Finn and I went to get some boxes. After leaving the helpful, but slightly creepy guy at the storage facility, Finn said: "When we get home can we have that guy come over?"

"What guy?" I asked.

"The guy who gave us boxes."

"You want to invite the strange man from the storage center to our house for a playdate?"

"Yes", said in a slightly condescending way that only 3 year-olds can do.

I tried to explain that we don't really invite strangers to our house but Finn was insistent that he was a nice guy and would be fun to have over.

Obviously, I did not go back and extend an invitation for a playdate. But I think I have some work to do on stranger-danger.

Watch Out For The Poor

This is what Micah says to me the other day.  Each day on on our way to school we stop at the exact same intersection. And every day there is a person standing there with a sign asking for help.  The people change - but we consistently see the same 3-4 men.  At least once a week Micah asks what we can give them as we sit waiting for the light to turn green.  Usually I answer with, "well, we don't have anything to give them. We could bring a bar next time." But of course I always forget.  I came to dread this intersection because I would usually be the first person in line at the stop light, sitting right next tothem the entire time.  I would smile and give a little nod, but that was it.

Then on Facebook, I saw a post by someone who works with the homeless population about needing disposable hand warmers.  And of course the next time I was in Costco I walked right by a display of hand warmers.  After looking at them for a few minutes, trying to decide between hand or foot warmers, I threw one in the cart.  Then I added a box of individually wrapped crackers.  When I picked Micah up from school that day I told him I finally had something we could hand out.

The next day before getting into the car, I made sure to have a stack of hand warmers and crackers all ready to go.  As we got to the usual intersection, my stomach was a little nervous, what if they didn't want the crackers? What if they were allergic to peanuts? I really hate this!  But of course all of my worry was for naught, as no one was there. Seriously, this was the first time all year no one stood on the corner.

I dropped the boys off and went a different way to preschool because I knew of another popular spot for people needing food.  I was so proud of myself for figuring this out, until I got to the intersection and realized I was on the wrong side of the street. Apart from rolling down my window, yelling at the man, and the stopping traffic so he could cross to me, I didn't see how I would get the crackers and hand warmers to him. So, I just drove on.

That afternoon Micah got into the car and yelled, "watch out for the poor". What? I asked him.  "You know, the poor who stand on the corner, we need to give them our stuff".  And of course we did not find any on the way home that day either.

Finally, several days after buying our supplies, and being on the look out for the poor, we finally stopped at a red light next to a man with a sign.  I rolled down the window and handed him several packages of crackers and hand warmers.

With a smile, the man took what I offered and said, "thank you".  The boys in the back were all yelling, hi!, as we pulled away (and ran over the curb in my haste to leave).  I have to say that made my day. While I pull up and nervously avoid eye contact, or timidly hold out my meager crackers, my boys are joyfully greeting this man.  Instead of embarrassment or nervousness, they are excited to be helping.

It is now their favorite thing to do in the car, to look for "the poor". And then to roll down our windows and hand out our offerings.  We are truly blessed.

Girl Talk

Today in the car the boys and I somehow got on the topic of baby girl names. Specifically what their names would have been if they were a girl. One fun part of not knowing the gender is that we always had 2 names for each baby.  For some reason, the girl name did not carry over to the next baby, but was always a new name.

I have a friend who I wish would have a girl just because I truly believe she has the perfect girl name. And it fits with the boy names she currently has. I am a bit obsessed actually, over the fact that I believe she should have another baby and it should be a girl.  Hint-hint.

When reviewing the girl names for my boys, I had to stop and laugh.

Finn Carlson would have been Carolyn Mae.  Not bad, except I am not sure if you say Caro-line or Caro-lynn.  It would be bad to not be able to pronounce your own child's name.

Micah Allen would have been Mae Abigail. Interesting that his initials would have been the same. Abigail is still my least favorite girl name, but it was a compromise with Brandon.  Also, the boys think it is hilarious Micah would have been Mae.

But truly it is Jack's name that makes me so glad he is a boy.

Jack Oscar would have been Allyn Isabetta. Allyn after my dad, and Isabetta because we found out we were pregnant in Italy.  Yeah, I am so glad I have a Jack instead.

Obviously I was not meant to have girls. My name choices are a tad odd.  Which is why I just stick to naming girl dogs.  Elsie Henrietta Ice-cream Lonac, um, yeah.

My Monday

How Finn spent his Monday:

 

How I spent my Monday:

All in order to move my parents into their new Hobbit House.