Saturday, October 29, 2011

It's Complicated

I know families can be made up in all sorts of ways.  The traditional family is not what it used to be.  But even still, I think my family is kind of complicated.

Today I went to a funeral.  It's easiest to say it was the funeral for my sister's grandma.  At least it seems easier. I could also say she was at one time my grandma, but hasn't been for 19 years. Although, I still referred to her as grandma, even after she passed away.

Then there is my other sister. Who is not my sister at all. She was my step-sister, but again, isn't anymore. She still refers to me as her sister and depending on what company I am in, so do I.  In explaining my weekend plans I referred to her as my ex-step-sister, and the person I  was talking to said, "I have one of those, too." So it's not just me.

At the funeral my other sister (that would be a different sister all together) and I were given the option to sit in the family row. Even though we weren't family, our younger sister was, and we were at one time.  But where does our mom sit? She really isn't family anymore, but she is our mom so we want to sit with her.

See, what I mean by complicated?

In the end, my two sisters, along with their spouses, my mom and my step-dad, and myself all sat in the third row from the front. It wasn't labeled "Family Row" like the first two were, but it was close enough to be considered family. And it had room for all of us.

My younger sister, her spouse and her children were listed in the obituary. So was my older ex-step-sister.  But not my slightly older sister or myself.

That's okay. I knew we wouldn't be, and between the divorce and the wedding announcement fiasco, I didn't expect to be. It still felt weird.

What is the point of this post? I don't really have one. I wish I had some insightful conclusion about families being what you make it, or some such drivel, but I don't.  If you ask me what I did this weekend I'll say I was at a funeral. What I won't say is that it was the funeral for my grandma, who is no longer my grandma, but is my younger sister's grandma.

It's complicated.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

It is complicated. And that's all I have to say about yesterday!