Friday, October 14, 2011

If My Grandma Was Alive Today

My Grandma D died in the fall of 1997.  She died 7 months before I graduated from college, and 7 months before I got married.  14 years later and I still miss her.

The other day I was playing Go Fish with Micah.  Instead of using the Go Fish cards, he found a deck of real cards and was determined to play with those. It worked okay, although he kept pointing out that the symbol on the card did not match. Just go with the number I told him, it's still a match. But as we were laying down cards, black on top of red,  it brought back memories of my grandma.

My grandma played solitaire every day, all day. I can't picture her without seeing her sitting at the round table, coffee cup next to her, lit cigarette in the ash tray, and a deck of cards in her hand.  It was always a large deck of cards, too. Two or more decks shuffled together. I never asked why she used so many decks of cards, maybe it extends the game longer, I don't know.

As I placed the black seven and the red seven on the table together, I realized how long it had been since I held a deck of cards.  I have solitaire on my phone and will play obsessively, usually when at the park watching the boys. But I haven't sat down and played the game with cards in years. It made me think, if my grandma was alive today would she play solitaire on the computer? I can't picture her sitting at a laptop clicking her way through the game.  She died before computers were so common and easy to use.  I would like to think she would still play the same way. TV turned onto daytime talk shows, cards laid out waiting for the next move, cooling cup of coffee sitting next to her, and cigarette in hand.

If my grandma was alive today I would be proud to show her my boys. Look, I would say, look at my sons.  See how smart, funny, sweet, and active they are?  Especially look at the middle one. Can you see it? My mom says he is a Carlson through and through. He looks like one and he acts like one.  Can you see my dad in him? 

If my grandma was alive today I would hug her stick thin little body tight, and tell her I love her, just one more time.

If my grandma was alive today.


Karen said...

Oh Amy, it's so beautiful and I'm sitting here weeping and missing all things Carlson: Allen, Frank, Susie, Delma....I am so blessed to have grandsons who have the spirit, the spunk, and the sass of this wonderful family.

Michelle said...

Well....sob! That's all I have to say about that. I'm going to find some tissue.