Tuesday, November 23, 2010

What's Wrong With You?

That is the question my husband asked me today.  I think he framed it more politely, as in, "Are you feeling okay?"  But the underlying message was the same.

He asked this question after I said I was exhausted.  I think he was concerned because I was in bed last night by 10:00 and didn't get out of bed until 7:30 this morning. I will even admit that Brandon was up before me, even though I said I would totally get up with the baby today.  And yes, that is also admitting that I am not usually the one to get up first. Brandon totally wins the award for best husband in the "Getting up with the baby first" award. But whatever.

I did sleep well, woke up feeling good, but by 1:00 I was tired. Not just tired, exhausted. Wanted to either go lie down and sleep or cry. Either one would be okay.

When Brandon asked me if I was okay, my response was something like this: "Have you MET my kids?!" I would like to say that I actually said that in a nice polite way, but I didn't. It was pretty much exactly like that.

I have a 5 year old who only wants to watch TV, suck his thumb and rub his blanket, a 3 year old who cries if anyone even thinks of touching his stuff, and a 1 year old who is refusing naps.  After 4 hours of playing, cleaning, feeding, changing laundry, coloring, wiping butts, picking up, mediating fights, I was tired.

I don't think there is anything wrong with me, that a month long vacation sans kids couldn't fix.  But that is not the stage of life we are in. Instead I will take the next 2 hours, sit at a coffee shop, read, write, stalk blogs, drink coffee and breathe deep.  When I walk in the door, the kids will still be there, the to-do list will still be long, and the feeling of exhaustion will creep back.

But right now, Jimmy Eat World is playing on Pandora, I've got a latte in a real cup, and am taking a moment for myself.


Mandy said...

Amy, you crack me up! And I love your honesty & sense of humor in the face of everything!!
So glad you got some time at a cafe today- you DESERVE it!

Lisa said...

I'm so there! I have a 1 year old who is pushing every button I have and testing every boundary again...and again...and again. We should meet at the boys and girls club sometime and make Kevin run them silly in the gym while we sip lattes and enjoy a few moments of respite! Let me know what your schedule looks like! :)