Anticipation

It is officially June and that means baby month. Yes, it is possible I could be late and the baby could be born in July, but based on my other 2 babies, not likely.  This last week I finally got the baby's 'room' ready. By room, I mean cleaned out space in our room to put a changing table, cradle, and rocker.  The actual baby room is still technically called "The Rat Room" for reasons I think you can figure out.

Knowing that the baby would be in our room for a looong time, I was not anxious to start setting up. But once the changing table came upstairs, I wanted it full of baby things. Now I have my cradle with a clean sheet, a new changing table pad and cover, and baskets of newborn diapers. When I opened the package of diapers, my heart did a little flip. I forget how tiny the baby is. These are the tiniest, most sweet smelling (at least now) diapers and I love them. It is a fleeting moment before you move onto the next stage and I just want to savor each moment with this baby.

Last night I was going through the drawers looking at all the baby clothes. There is not much in there yet, as we have to wait for the baby to join us to know if it is a boy or girl.  I have teeny, tiny yellow, green, and white onesies that I just hold up and can't believe they will be that small. I have my absolute favorite nightgowns that all my babies have worn until Brandon reminds me that I have boys, not girls. In my defense, they make nighttime changes so much easier!  Then I have just a handful of "day" sleepers that the baby will wear during the day, again all neutral colors. If this baby is a boy (which my dr. is convinced of) I have a whole tub of clothes waiting, if not, my mom already said she is buying PINK everything! 

The other night I was pulling clothes out of the bin and I held up one of the sleepers and said to Brandon, in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice, "We are having a baby!". He just smiled at me and said, he knew.  

I've spent so much time agonizing over how it will be with three kids, possibly three boys, that I forgot how absolutely exciting it will be to bring home our last baby. Now, I am ready.  Not for the sleepless nights, endless crying, or constant nursing. But for the tiny, little body, that will snuggle up on my chest. To smell that sweet baby smell again, and wait eagerly for the first smile and recognition that yes, I am his (or her) mom.

4 more weeks and counting!