Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Alone Time

I was originally going to title this post "Are You in the House Alone?" but realized no one would get it but my older sister. One of my fondest and scariest childhood memories, but not the point of this post.

Tonight I find myself alone at home. Totally and completely alone. My husband has gone to meet friends, my boys are at a sleep over with grandparents.  One of the things I have struggled with the most since having kids is the lack of alone time. I used to get home from work before my husband and enjoy time in the house alone. Saturday morning he would go on a long bike ride, and again I would be home alone. I enjoyed my time by myself; to clean, garden, read, sleep, I just liked being home alone.

Now it is very rare that I am at home with no one else. My husband will offer to watch the boys while I go do something. But all I want is for him to leave with the boys. I'm not a shopper, not very athletic, and siting at coffee shops tends to distract me. I would rather be home alone.  

When we first realized the boys would be gone tonight and Brandon had a meeting, he invited me to come along. He was sure his friends would not mind. Um, that is a very sweet offer but sitting in a bar listening to guys talk about computers would be worse then spending an evening having my entire body waxed. I was looking forward to being in the house by myself. No waiting until bedtime, doing the night time routine before I could sit down, but just cleaning up after dinner and being done.

I have several TV shows taped that my husband would rather not watch, I've been to the library and have a couple of good book options, and I also have work to do. Research reports to read, lesson planning for a class of preschoolers and for a class of adults (I wonder if I could somehow do the same lesson for both classes, would be a lot easier! ) and lots of laundry to fold.  I have been looking forward to this evening all day long.

But on the way to the grandparent's house my oldest boy said, "Mommy, I want to stay with you". He didn't really. Once we got there he could barely standstill for me to kiss him good bye. He was having too much fun. I am happy for him. But I miss both of my boys. I even miss my husband (I know!).  Maybe it is the hormones, but, while I will enjoy my TV and books, I will really be missing my family.


Michelle said...

I think the movie would have been less scary if we didn't have an older cousin so willing to help us scare ourselves to death!

Mandy said...

I'm so jealous, Amy! I hope you enjoyed yourself! I was just telling Matt today- sometimes I would give anything for a whole day to just get things done all by myself. But when our parents provide childcare for me to work- I don't want to ask them to do even more, you know? Maybe Next time the boys have a sleepover at grandma's they can ask if they can bring their friend Leta :)