Today as I was walking Jack into school I had a moment where I looked at him and didn't know who he was. All of a sudden he had changed, gone was the little boy who clung to my hand as we walked into school. This boy could barely stand to walk next to me. As I reached out to hug him, he visibly stepped away. Not in anger, but more of a "mom, not cool" kind of move. I followed one step behind him watching him walk into school with his blue fleece hoodie pulled up, his long skinny legs sticking out of cargo shorts, and wondered who this boy was.
At his classroom I prepared to wait for the bell to ring so he could go into class when he turned to me and said, "I could go outside, you know." Okay, that's fine. As I looked down to make sure I had the other two boys, he took off. No hugs, no "I love yous", nothing. Of course I am thrilled that he has developed into this confident boy who no longer needs his mom to be right next to him. I'm glad that he has friends waiting on the playground to play with him. I'm glad he is growing up. Really I am. I am just surprised at how quickly it happened. Is this my future, each of my boys pulling away from me as they realize I am really not that cool?
The other boys and I stayed at school to help in the library for another hour. As we were beginning to leave I happened to see Jack in the hallway. "Be cool," I told myself. I gave a little wave and walked on. Feeling pretty proud of myself, then I heard, "Mommy, hugs?". I turned around and there was Jack, arms spread wide. I gave him a hug and then watched him hug each of his brothers. As we continued on out the door I heard Jack say to his friends, "That's my mommy". In his little baby-talk voice.
And there was the Jack I knew.
During the whole time we were at the library Micah and Finn were: A W E S O M E. They sat quietly and read books, played a game together, looked at magazines and never once touched the computers. I was feeling quite proud of myself and how well-behaved the boys were. I secretly hoped the librarian was impressed with my parenting skills and thinking these were the most well-behaved boys she had ever seen.
Of course I did not share the secret to my success today. I have to confess I completely bribed the boys for their good behavior. They were promised Top Pot doughnuts IF they were quiet and did not play on the computers. So their entire behavior in the library was not done because they are quiet, well-behaved boys, but because they were motivated by the deliciousness that are Top Pot doughnuts.
Poor parenting? I think not. Did I mention that they were QUIET and WELL-BEHAVED. I will still give myself a pat on the back, because sometimes those days are few and far between.
1 comment:
Top Pot doughnuts are a very good tool to keep in your parent bag of tricks! Or for that matter, your sister bag of tricks. I'd be quiet and well behaved for you too if I had a doughnut in my future!
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