Tonight I find myself alone at home. Totally and completely alone. My husband has gone to meet friends, my boys are at a sleep over with grandparents. One of the things I have struggled with the most since having kids is the lack of alone time. I used to get home from work before my husband and enjoy time in the house alone. Saturday morning he would go on a long bike ride, and again I would be home alone. I enjoyed my time by myself; to clean, garden, read, sleep, I just liked being home alone.
Now it is very rare that I am at home with no one else. My husband will offer to watch the boys while I go do something. But all I want is for him to leave with the boys. I'm not a shopper, not very athletic, and siting at coffee shops tends to distract me. I would rather be home alone.
When we first realized the boys would be gone tonight and Brandon had a meeting, he invited me to come along. He was sure his friends would not mind. Um, that is a very sweet offer but sitting in a bar listening to guys talk about computers would be worse then spending an evening having my entire body waxed. I was looking forward to being in the house by myself. No waiting until bedtime, doing the night time routine before I could sit down, but just cleaning up after dinner and being done.
I have several TV shows taped that my husband would rather not watch, I've been to the library and have a couple of good book options, and I also have work to do. Research reports to read, lesson planning for a class of preschoolers and for a class of adults (I wonder if I could somehow do the same lesson for both classes, would be a lot easier! ) and lots of laundry to fold. I have been looking forward to this evening all day long.
But on the way to the grandparent's house my oldest boy said, "Mommy, I want to stay with you". He didn't really. Once we got there he could barely standstill for me to kiss him good bye. He was having too much fun. I am happy for him. But I miss both of my boys. I even miss my husband (I know!). Maybe it is the hormones, but, while I will enjoy my TV and books, I will really be missing my family.
2 comments:
I think the movie would have been less scary if we didn't have an older cousin so willing to help us scare ourselves to death!
I'm so jealous, Amy! I hope you enjoyed yourself! I was just telling Matt today- sometimes I would give anything for a whole day to just get things done all by myself. But when our parents provide childcare for me to work- I don't want to ask them to do even more, you know? Maybe Next time the boys have a sleepover at grandma's they can ask if they can bring their friend Leta :)
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