Finishing Strong

For years I've been in a small group with this woman whose life I feel I am mirroring.   At the end of each school year she talks about encouraging her three sons to  'finish strong'.  She is so excited for school to be ending, for getting her boys back, and for no more homework! As a former teacher I was always slightly skeptical of how excited she was for school to end. Until this year. I have been counting down the days until my boys were finally out of school.

Being a new school this year I was unprepared for the amount of events that happened the final week. Between field day, final field trips, year end parties, and last day send offs, I was at school every single day.  And I kept repeating to myself and my boys, "just finish strong".

And finish we did. But maybe not as strong as I had hoped. I had plans for a special last day breakfast, a secret note tucked into lunches, thoughtful teacher gifts with hand written notes.  And then we woke up at 7:20.  Yes, 7:20. When we need to leave for school at 7:50.  No special breakfast, no little notes in lunch boxes, in fact no lunch boxes at all. The only thing special was the boys were able to buy lunch since I was too late to even make lunch.  We made it to drop off on time and with only a few tears.  It wasn't quite the morning I had planned, but I'll take it.

Micah's Kindergarten Teacher

Jack's First Grade Teacher

Here's to summer finally being here!

Jack's Plan

Memorial Day weekend once again found us in Seaside for our annual trip. This was our 11th year there, which seems insane. I remember talking with my sisters years ago about what would this trip look like when my oldest nephew was in high school. Well, now we know, we are still going, we are still having fun, just in a different way.  But that is not the point of this post.

One of the changes we did make this  year was to stay at a place with no pool. Not having a pool is quite upsetting so we had to find an alternate plan.  Little did we know Seaside had an amazing community pool.  No more freezing swims, the pool was almost like taking a bath. Albeit with 50 strangers, but whatever.

On the way to the pool one day I saw a church for sale. I am always a little sad when I see a church building that is no longer in use.  On the little country road my grandparents live on, stands a little white church. I remember going to services there, hearing my grandpa preach, being baptized there, watching my sister get married.  But with all things change happens, and for this little church that meant closing for good. And becoming someones house. I am sure they think it is cool that they live in an old church, but every time we drive by, I still feel a little sad.

So as we drove by this church I said, "Look a church for sale"

And Jack says, "We should by it"

I was so happy, in my mind I was thinking what a sweet, caring, godly boy Jack was.

And then he said: "And then we could tear it down"

WAIT! WHAT?!

Here is his plan:
We could tear down the church and then build a bank. That way all the money in the bank would be ours. And then we could rob the bank, but we wouldn't go to jail because the bank and the money are ours.

I guess that's a creative idea, and he obviously understands not wanting to go to jail, unlike his brother, but still.  While I was picturing buying the church and building a community, Jack was planning to become a wealthy business man who has a slight criminal side.

At least he's thinking.

How to Train for a 5K

Just to clarify I don't really know how to train for a 5K. I read a few websites that gave tips, but they seemed kind of intense so I just made up my own plan. It pretty much consisted of running around the block until I got tired and calling it done. In my mind I was quite the runner. I would go run a predetermined route and return out of breath, exhausted and sore, within 20 minutes.

Then I decided to try the app: Map My Run. Um, so I was not quite the amazing runner I had thought I was.  In fact, between walking to warm up and cool down, I was only running a mile. I had to run 2 more miles to be ready for the 5K. This was not good news considering I was only a couple of weeks away from the run.

I even went for a run on my birthday present day of rest. I found that to be particularly admirable.  I never quite made the full 3 miles in my training runs. I did hear that when training for a marathon you never run the entire distance before the race. You just get close and then hope that the adrenaline will carry you the rest of the way. I'm going to go with that theory. I also felt that running with the dogs was like a handicap. So, if I only ran 2 miles with the dogs that would be like running 10 miles without them. Or something like that.

The day of the big 'race' arrived. It technically wasn't a race, but saying fun run loses some of my street cred. My boys were very encouraging and gave me such tips as: "never give up", "do your best" and "encourage others". Okay, I think they may have just had some motivational speaker at school, but still it felt good.  Although they really wanted me to win. I kept telling them that just crossing the finishing line was going to be winning to me.

To not keep you in suspense any longer. I did cross the finish line, and I did run the entire way. I give all credit to my friend who ran with me. I told her it was up to her to get me to keep running. At first she tried to keep my mind off the fact that my legs were killing me and we had only hit the 1K mark by asking me all sorts of questions. I finally panted, "Your (gasp) turn (gasp) talk (GASP)".  And she did. Luckily she had some great stories from work to share and that got me at least another 1K. Then I only kept running because I was too embarrassed to stop and walk. But oh dear, I have never seen anything that made me happier then finally seeing the finish line.

Next year a 10K? Maybe. I'll decide after I can move my legs without screaming in agony.

To My Mini-Me

Dear Micah,

Tonight as I was starting the wind-up to bedtime, I said something like, "It's been a fun, busy day, and you have all run all day, and should be tired."

To which you said, "Tomorrow will be even more fun and busy."

And I hate to admit that my mind went blank. When I asked you why, you said, because it's my BIRTHDAY.

And, oh my, yes it is.  We have been counting down your birthday for the last two weeks. We counted down as soon as mine ended. We counted down through Disneyland and back.  I woke you up today singing the "Tomorrow" song, until you asked me to stop. I spent all day yelling, "TOMORROW IS YOU BIRTHDAY". But then tonight my mind just froze.

I can not believe you are turning 6 tomorrow. Your birth story is still my favorite one to tell. You are the only boy that was born in the middle of the night. You are also the only son of mine that was a true surprise. I loved having your aunts there waiting to meet you, to see the tears on Oh-cho's face when you were born.  The moment your dad yelled, "It's a boy!" and I yelled, "Oh my God!", you become ours.

You are so special to me. You carry my dad's name. You are the one boy that truly looks like me, and therefore looks like my dad.  You have the absolute best expressions, and can make my heart melt with a simple grin or break with the sad-I-don't-want-to-cry but-I-am face.  You are truly an individual in my sea of boys.

Being the middle is hard. I blame most of my years in counseling simply on being a middle child.  Never first, never last, never to have your own room, being in the middle is tough. But you are the most perfect middle child. You have been a support to Jack, an encourager and a playmate. The way you look up to him, play with him, and of course fight with him, has helped Jack more then you will ever know. And yet, when Jack is gone, you turn and become Finn's playmate. You become the leader, the big brother.

You are an enigma. So brave, strong, fierce, outgoing, athletic, and yet sensitive and hesitant too.  You love to run fast, be tough, and talk big. But you hate, hate, hate amusement park rides. If the ride is fast, involves a drop, dip, or spin, you will not be on it.  And yet, in all other areas of your life you are exactly like an amusement ride. You are loud (which I love), fast, you constantly change course, and keep us guessing what will  come next.

You tell amazing stories so far you have told people you are blind, you can't use scissors because you are Egyptian, and you are half German because your socks don't match. With each story you give a little half grin and a shrug of the shoulders.

You make my heart melt just looking at you. From your perfectly kissable cheeks, to your still-toothless grin, you are truly my son.

Happy, happy, birthday Micah. I promise, when you wake up in the morning, I will NOT forget that it is your birthday.

Love, Mom

Turning 8

Yesterday was Jack's 8th birthday. Hard to believe it has been 8 years since Jack entered our lives. I am loving getting to know this older boy, his sense of humor, his caring nature, his love for his brothers.  I am honored to call him my son.

Reality Check

Kids, if nothing else, will at least always let you know exactly how you are doing. Also, how you look.    This week I was again told how the boys love my 'food baby' and don't want me to lose it. I won't be so soft and squishy without that nice layer of fat.  Except for Finn, he is waiting for the 'food baby' to be born. We may need some serious counseling later in life.

As I previously said, I love where we live.  But that does not mean that everything is blissful.  Moving is stressful, extremely stressful. Living with boxes, is not something I do well. I want everything unpacked and put away NOW.  

Yesterday, after picking the boys up from school, we stopped by the Goodwill. While, I did a terrible job of purging before moving, I am working very hard to get rid of those seldom used items I keep unpacking.  When I told the boys where we were going, Jack immediately asked if I was getting rid of his things. I tried to explain that it was mostly my stuff. But I mentioned books. To which Micah became upset that I was getting rid of his books. 

In, my most patient loving voice, I said, "No, they are my books. Like a  parenting book for moms that  I have had for 3 years but never read."

And then Jack said, "Maybe you should read it, it might be good"

For You - I heard in my head.

And yes, reading a parenting book right about now would be probably be good for me. As with most things, you know what you should do, you know what best practices tell you to do, but when your reserves are low it isn't always what you do. Basically all those words simply say one thing: more reactive parenting then proactive parenting is happening right now. And for me, that is not the parenting I like.

Did I remove the book from the goodwill bag? Um, no. I still believe it wasn't a very good book. But I did dig up all the half read parenting books I have and put them on a prominent shelf. To remind myself  to take a breath, to be the parent I want to be, to respond with patience. So far, I'm 50-50.

Oh, and to finish reading them.

Loving Life

I write that title with a little hesitancy. I do not want to imply everything is sunshine and roses; there are still fights to referee, too much yelling on my part, not enough TV watching for me, and not enough time devoted to Brandon, BUT I am still very much loving my life.

We have been in our new house 1 week. Seems crazy that last Saturday we were waking up for the first time in this unexpected home. First time in beds, I should say, we had a few campouts a couple of times to try to get some projects done before moving in.  Compared to our last move, this one was amazing.  I joke that having movers saved our marriage, but it's not really a joke. And moving into a house with a kitchen and a fully functional bathroom was a luxury.  The worst thing we have to do is paint.  And unpack.  And do that with 3 kids and 2 dogs.

This week Finn did not have school, so I felt I was living a little bit of a dream life. I drove the two older boys to school, and then came home for the next 6 hours. No errands, no pick up times, no playdates. I did not see or talk to anyone, except Finn for two days, and I loved it.  Finn, myself, and the dogs went on a bike ride/walk each day. As we walked I watched the ferry come and go, sailboats doing whatever sailboats do, and even saw an eagle perched on top of a stag.  That makes me kind of laugh.  It was a time that Finn and I had that we both enjoyed, and I think the dogs liked it too. Each day I counted my blessings for this new home and the community in which we live. And, I shamelessly admitted, that I like suburbia.  Except for the composting issue, I currently have bags of food scraps in my freezer while I wait for the correct yard waste bin to be delivered. And yes, I realize that is disgusting, but I couldn't bear to throw all that food in the garbage! So, maybe, don't come over for a while. Just until I get the food waste all sorted out.

Other then that, and no doors on our bedrooms or bathrooms, which to an intensely private person like myself, is a horror of its own, life is good.

Moving Day

The view on our daily walk

My little walking buddy

Last picture of my boys on the front steps of our old house.  Some tears were shed. Mostly by me.